DEAD EMOTIONS

I am like the living dead, for other words, a zombie. My hatred weighs more than my love, that’s even if I still have any left in me. Let me cut the preambles and go straight into my story.

I was in year 3 in the tertiary institution without a man to call my own, my friends had boyfriends of working rich class, and they go out and come back to the hostel with loads of gifts. All I do is admire those items with them. So many times, I am being teased for not having a guy, but I cared less because I knew my man is on the way.

Things went on like that until a day after lectures, I was on my way to the hostel when a car parked alongside the hostel. I kept on walking but a young man walked up to me trying to get my attention. He should have been in his 30’s, handsome, of average height though taller than me J, dark, nice hair cut etc. I did my quick scanning of him. He walked up to me, complimented my looks and said the usual thing a guy would say to a girl on the street. I snubbed him well, but deep down I liked him. Nonetheless, as a lady, you know the usual game now – playing hard to get. Well he went on pestering me day by day. He even traced my hostel room and often came with loads of gifts for months, but still with a no from me. He still won’t give up. Well later, I thought to myself what if he is the man I have been waiting for? I decided to give him a chance and we became to close within months.

Later on, he invited me to his house, which I accepted. So on this sunny Saturday afternoon, there I was sitting in a well furnished apartment situated in an estate. He welcomed me warmly, served me chilled juice, asked if he should prepare something nice to eat, that, I refused. I asked if he stays alone and he said he stays with the maid but she is on her day off. We got talking and I felt my eye lid closing, blinking within seconds and the next moment I saw myself in a hospital with my friends around me. I asked what I was doing here. They all looked at me with pitiful eyes, telling me to calm down, but I was persistent, “What’s going on here?” So I was told I was gang raped and dropped by the roadside until someone came to my rescue. I thought they were joking. Unfortunately, they weren’t. I almost cried my eyeballs out, but the deed was done.

I was later discharged and thereafter, I tried his phone but it no longer existed. I went to the same house but everywhere was as silent as a graveyard. I knocked and knocked until my hands hurt, then a next door neighbour came out, telling me the house had been vacant for a year. I felt like fainting, but I had to brace myself up. I thanked the man and started walking home. My steps clashed, tears ran down my eyes. This was a painful tale I had to accept.

Since that incident, every man that came my way, I looked at them as rapists. I harbored this great hatred for them all.

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